Nine Lessons I Learned in 2021
Miami Beach December 2021
2021 was an interesting and unusual year for all of us, to say the least. With repercussions from last year rolling into this year, I would say there were some challenges for all of us.
But what did I learn from it all?
2021 has taught me a lot. Today, I’m going to talk about some of the most significant lessons I learned over the past year.
1. I can’t do it all.
I can’t do it all and I need to narrow my focus if I want to accomplish anything great. I’d rather be great at a few things than good at many things.
2. Great things take time.
Great things take time and I need patience if I’m going to do anything substantial.
In our modern day-in-age, we have been programmed to want instant gratification. We can order nearly anything we want and get it delivered to our home in a matter of hours, or at most, within the next day or two.
We see people on social media who seem to be swimming in success based on the lifestyle they portray on our screens. They make it seem as if they’ve “made it” and leave us wondering why aren’t I where they are at by now?
I’ve fallen into the trap thinking that I’m just one small step away from 10X-ing my business. Whether that’s working on my next marketing promo or fitness program; great things take time and becoming successful overnight is a myth. It’s best for me to focus my attention on one thing, take the time to develop the skill, and become great at it.
3. It’s better to focus on getting to the next level as opposed to trying to
go from 0 to 100.
Gurus such as Grant Cardone and Bob Proctor will tell you, “You have to think BIG! Focus on the end goal of what you really want! You can 10X your business this year if you truly believe!”. And for some people that’s fine, that motivation may work for them; I used to believe this. But not for me anymore and likely not for a lot of us. That attitude can leave me feeling disappointed when I’ve only increased my business by 1.5X or gained two pounds of muscle instead of 20. Personally, I don’t think it’s healthy and it gets me IMPATIENT which is a fault of mine.
Instead, I believe it’s better when I focus on getting to the next level. I think- “How can I be just a little bit better this month, this week, today?” “What do I need to do today and this week in order to increase my sales by 10% this month?” Goals like this get me excited because I actually feel like I can accomplish them. Best case- I end up surpassing my goal and feel even better. Worse case- I fall short but figured out some things that didn’t work.
It’s good to have long-term goals but I’ve learned not to obsess over them. It’s better for me to focus on the here and now and what I can do TODAY.
4. Small habits done consistently are better than massive action
that is inconsistent or unfocused.
Doing the little things every day that will move me in the right direction is more effective than trying to go too quickly and getting burnt out. Remember- Going from 0 to 100 is beyond the horizon for me.
I see new clients all of the time who are motivated, excited, and say they will do “whatever it takes” to reach their goal. They are ready to go “all in” and turn their life around once and for all!
So to start, I give them one easy challenge to focus on such as logging their food for a week, drinking water throughout the day, or eating slowly at each meal. They bark at me and say, “No, I can handle more, give me the hard stuff! I’m ready to cut out all junk food, workout six days per week, and eat whatever you tell me; give me the meal plan!”
And I’m telling you, I’ve seen this too many times before. MOST PEOPLE TRY TO DO TOO MUCH TOO QUICKLY AND THEY END UP FAILING. It’s better to work on one or two small goals that are easy to accomplish and slowly start adding in more challenging goals as you go.
Remember- This is what I’ve learned about myself over the past year and this approach seems to work best for most of my clients. Going cold turkey may work best for you but you are more likely to get burnt out faster. Having said that…
5. There’s rarely only one best way to do anything.
There’s rarely only one best way to do anything and just because something has worked for someone else or “that’s the way it’s always been done” doesn’t mean it’s best for me.
Generally, if you are a man interested in building muscle, you will hear that you HAVE to bench to build your pecs. You’ll hear that you HAVE to squat to build your legs and you HAVE to eat at least six times per day to build muscle. Here’s what else I was told and used to believe:
You have to eat as much as you possibly can and as often as you can, even when you don’t want to, in order to build muscle. The truth is if you are constantly stuffing your face your body is going to have a hard time digesting and absorbing the nutrients from your food.
You have to eat a crazy amount of protein. The truth is protein is important for building muscle but there comes a point where your stomach can’t break it all down in time. It’s best to space meals out.
Don’t worry about what you are eating when you are trying to build muscle. Just keep eating and you will grow. The truth is it DOES matter what you eat and I would say that paying attention to WHAT you eat is more important than tracking calories and macros. Whole foods over everything.
And to touch base on the whole bench press argument- If your goal is maximum strength and you enjoy powerlifting then, by all means, bench pressing is going to be an important component of your training. But for me and my muscle-building goals, I’ve found better ways of building my pecs by using cables and dumbbells. I find that after using a fixed bar for a while, no matter my position and what I try, it oftentimes hurts my shoulders and is harder for me to focus on my pecs. I’ve been focusing on seated cable flys super-setted with seated cable presses, flat dumbbell presses with push-ups, and decline dumbbell presses on their own. Sticking to these basic things has been working wonders for me.
6. The past is in the past for a reason.
The past is in the past for a reason and I can’t dwell on it if I want to move forward. Just being open and honest here- I miss old friends, I miss the times we used to have, I miss hanging out in big groups, I miss my early twenties when I didn’t have many responsibilities and I could do what I wanted. But I'm reminded that I’ve grown out of my past and this is what I asked God for. I wanted to mature and grow in my faith. I wanted to grow my business. I wanted to have a brother to do life with and relationships that were deeper and more meaningful.
When you are in a stage of growth and are asking God for change, He will take away the things that aren’t best for you but He will always replace them with things that are better.
I know this and I also know I’m in a much better place than I was just a few years ago but I’m human and get stuck missing experiences and things that were never best for me in the first place. It’s hard to move forward when you are focused on the past. Old belief systems and patterns need to die in order to grow new ones.
7. Nothing is going to change unless I change.
Nothing is going to change unless I change and change is hard; change is painful. I’ve made a lot of changes over the last few years and they always come with challenges. Challenges that bring change require growing into the person that can handle the change; the old me can’t.
I’ve learned that it can be a good thing when I’m feeling a lot of fear and resistance. The fear and resistance is the old me trying to hold onto what it knows and what is comfortable. Change is always going to be uncomfortable.
They say that the number one aspect of survival is being willing to adapt and change. Growth always comes with change and change always comes with challenges and I like a good challenge!
8. I can’t value everyone’s opinion.
I can’t value everyone’s opinion but I should value the perspective of selective people who are closest to me. I know my values and I know who’s opinion matters to me. It’s important for me not to forget that.
9. God offers free salvation but wants you to work to build a relationship with Him.
God offers each and every one of us His eternal salvation and paradise with Him; all we have to do is ACCEPT this free gift by accepting Jesus as our Lord and Savior. But it doesn’t mean everything after that is all sunshine and rainbows. We will still have challenges and fall short. God is willing to be there with us through the trials but He wants us to call on Him and trust Him through it.
Just like a good parent will love you no matter what you do, God will always choose to love us and be there for us but it’s up to us to accept Him and seek Him above our own desires. All relationships require work, sacrifices, and selflessness. God desires us to desire Him in our hearts and when we do, and commit a life to seeking and honoring Him, He will show us blessings that we could never imagine. The verse that called me back home to God was Matthew 6:33 “Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all of these things will be given to you.”
You don’t have to see the whole staircase.
I’ve learned a lot over the past year and I’ve seen a lot of growth. But the greatest lesson I’ve learned is this-
Growth happens in stages by doing the little things consistently every day. It’s good to have goals and plan for the future but it’s important that I know where I am at now and that I know what the next stage looks like. If I can focus on the next stage I can better identify the next steps to get there. Great things take time and consistent steps in the right direction are required for growth.
I didn’t get to where I am at and learn these lessons overnight and I won’t get to the next stage in life that way either.
